J Dog's Crew

Legal Disclosure: The following character depictions are fictional and intended as satire. Any association or resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, beee-yatch!!

Yo, waaasssuuup, baby? The J-Dog is in tha house, keepin' it real at Concord, CA. Peep this, I wanna take this opportunity to give a shout-out to all my crew who got tha J-Dog's back in his day-to-day bidness, a'ight? I gots to represent my homies.

Now this be a big-ass website, so you'all be waiting on the download. But don't be whining and complaining. Else I'll Bruce Lee your sorry ass. 'Cause I got Kung Fu Grip. You got a problem with dat? Don't mess with this J Dog, 'cause if you do I be comin' after you like pastrami on rye and go stone cold crazy on your sorry ass. True dat.

Sincerely,

J Dog Funk Esquire

(Fo' some extra fun, click on some of deez boyz heads to hear 'em talk.)

The J Dog with his happ'nin lady, 'Special K'

The Dog House Pimpology

Mad props to Rappin' Robby K

Tha Lowdown Funky-Fresh Gangsta Bad Ass of the Nutritional Services department of John Muir, Mr. White Chocolate

Straight Outta Compton, the ultimate playa, Notorious D.O.P.

I always was the better looking brotha

The Grandmaster Gator, Kool Moe Yee

The man, the myth, the pimp:

Trick Daddy Mango

Mango broke his beee-yaatch's heart

Ay yo trip, it's DJ Jazzy John Larson

Tha Stone-Cold Mutha, Ice Cap

Tha story of Ice Cap:

I've been thinking long and hard about a hood name, since long before some MoFo popped Tupac. But, nothing came to me. No inspiration I was enjoying a 40 Colt Malt Liquor with my hommie, Snoop who told me to hang with it until something came along. Profoundly he told me, "It's like a fucking Indian name. It comes to you. You don't fuckin pick it." This morning, at Starbucks, I overheard it as I was enjoying a hot breakfast beverage. The barista called it out. I knew right away she was talking to me. I turned and said "Yo! Bitch!". But lo and behld it was not me she she was calling, jsut rather another drink order. But, now, I know my name. ICE CAP You look at the drink and all you see is the foamy white top - happy, frothy, and friendly. But, down inside, deep inside, under the whiteness is a heart of black - strong, rich, potent, with a bite as kick-ass as a pit bull's. Word on the street is ICE CAP is chillin'. Don't disrespect the name or I'll cap you - ICE CAP you that is.

Kickin' it with Victor 'Jay-Z'