Legal Disclosure: The following character depictions are fictional and intended as satire. Any association or resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, beee-yatch!!
Yo, waaasssuuup, baby? The J-Dog is in tha house, keepin' it real at Concord, CA. Peep this, I wanna take this opportunity to give a shout-out to all my crew who got tha J-Dog's back in his day-to-day bidness, a'ight? I gots to represent my homies.
Now this be a big-ass website, so you'all be waiting on the download. But don't be whining and complaining. Else I'll Bruce Lee your sorry ass. 'Cause I got Kung Fu Grip. You got a problem with dat? Don't mess with this J Dog, 'cause if you do I be comin' after you like pastrami on rye and go stone cold crazy on your sorry ass. True dat.
J Dog Funk Esquire
(Fo' some extra fun, click on some of deez boyz heads to hear 'em talk.)
The J Dog with his happ'nin lady, 'Special K'
The Dog House Pimpology
Mad props to Rappin' Robby K
Tha Lowdown Funky-Fresh Gangsta Bad Ass of the Nutritional Services department of John Muir, Mr. White Chocolate
Straight Outta Compton, the ultimate playa, Notorious D.O.P.
I always was the better looking brotha
The Grandmaster Gator, Kool Moe Yee
The man, the myth, the pimp:
Trick Daddy Mango
Mango broke his beee-yaatch's heart
Ay yo trip, it's DJ Jazzy John Larson
Tha Stone-Cold Mutha, Ice Cap
Tha story of Ice Cap:
I've been thinking long and hard about a hood name, since long before some MoFo popped Tupac. But, nothing came to me. No inspiration I was enjoying a 40 Colt Malt Liquor with my hommie, Snoop who told me to hang with it until something came along. Profoundly he told me, "It's like a fucking Indian name. It comes to you. You don't fuckin pick it." This morning, at Starbucks, I overheard it as I was enjoying a hot breakfast beverage. The barista called it out. I knew right away she was talking to me. I turned and said "Yo! Bitch!". But lo and behld it was not me she she was calling, jsut rather another drink order. But, now, I know my name. ICE CAP You look at the drink and all you see is the foamy white top - happy, frothy, and friendly. But, down inside, deep inside, under the whiteness is a heart of black - strong, rich, potent, with a bite as kick-ass as a pit bull's. Word on the street is ICE CAP is chillin'. Don't disrespect the name or I'll cap you - ICE CAP you that is.
Kickin' it with Victor 'Jay-Z'
Keepin' it real with P. Danny
Da bomb, Eazy-E Kiwi
Too young to vote and way too young for a 40, Slick Nick, and the hardest working guy in hip-hop, bad boy Mason 'The Juvenile' Chesla
Tha Lowdown Funky-Fresh Future Gangsta,
Comin' Out Yo' Badass, Pimpbot 5000
Some of DA crew after our parole board meeting
My favorites cerealz
And thas tha straight-up shit, mah homies. Word.
J Dog, Peace-out.
AKA, The Freaky Gangbanga, Spilly Vanilli