Role Of Monster Ineptly Played By Jeff Myers

Big Basin, CA-- Critics savaged last year's underwhelming acting debut of camp organizer Jeff Myers, who "fumbled and stumbled his way" through the role of the annual production of Jason Takes Big Basin.

"What is supposed to be an eloquently simple role was bludgeoned into the ground by Mr. Myers' ham-fisted delivery and clunky sense of timing", said theater critics. "One might have leaned his cardboard-cutout costume against a tree for a superior display of thespianism."




Ants, Campers reach last-minute accord




Annual Group Camping Trip Motto Changed To "Camp Chaos... We're Gonna Make Ya Smile"

Concord, CA-- After a focus group determined the previous motto, "Camping Fever--Catch It!" to be boring, the International Governing Body of Camping introduced a new motto Monday: "Camp Chaos...We're Gonna Make Ya Smile". "We feel the new motto projects a more playful image", spokesman Jeff Myers said. "This new slogan tells the world that Camp Chaos Is Fun Country!" Myers added that he will be replacing all camping merchandising accordingly.



Child Lies For Parents' Own Good

Tahoe City, CA-- Area 14-year-old Mason lied to his parents Saturday, telling them that he was at the park after school and sparing them the unpleasant truth that he was setting off fireworks in a field with friends. "Jill & Danny are very fragile emotionally", Mason said. "Telling them something like that would only cause them undue stress". He added that he may tell them one day when he is older.




After long, mysterious absence from annual camping trip...





Area Man Unsure What To Do With All The Left Over Licorice From Camping Trip



Jim Burke Completes Court-Ordered Sensitivity Training

Concord, CA-- Nearly two years after Jim Burke offended everyone by calling a Native American Bear a "Black Bear", he has finally completed his court-ordered community service. He was previously being held without bail in his tent at campsite 33b, but was recently released to the custody of his son, Chris.



Jeff Myers Diagnosed With "Youthful Tendency Disorder"



Vast Array Of Snacks Options Paralyzes Camper

Napa, CA-- Looking for relief the munchies, local camper Michael Castellon
was paralyzed with indecision upon confronting the vast, intimidating array
of chips, cookies, and candy. "I just wanted some simple snacks, and there
was this entire wall, I didn't even know how to begin the selection process"
Castellon said.


Toxic Spill Team Sent On Emergency Mission... clean up bathroom after Rob Kaplan

When fumes from a a foul-smelling area found near Camp Chaos recently sent three people to the hospital, a team of toxic-spill specialists in space-age protective gear sped to the scene to investigate. They quickly deduced that the area was fouled by local camper, Rob Kaplan. The site was quickly quarantined by the Center For Disease Control.


Mosquito's Life Cut Short


Camp Chaos Founder Recounts Own Harrowing Battle With Iced-Oatmeal Cookie Addiction