Uneaten Iced-Oatmeal Cookies Costing U.S. Billions

Lake Tahoe, CA-The partially opened, and otherwise uneaten cookies at the end of the annual camping trip are costing Americans an average of $18 billion every year, FDA sources reported Tuesday. "Considering the costs of creating, processing, and packaging these cookies, and the energy expended to open them, it's an epic level of waste." Crawford asked Congress to double funding for the FDA's $200 million old-maid-elimination research project.


Camp Chaos Leaders, Rangers, Meet
for Historic Chaos Summit


 


Bourbon Helps Ranger Forget About Campers For Awhile


Camp Chaos--Ranger Martin Janowski, 53, was able to forget about campers for
just a little while Monday after consuming a fifth of Wild Turkey Kentucky
bourbon. "For a few glorious moments, I cleared my mind of those asshole Camp Chaos campers" said Janowski, a 26-year employee of the California State Park
System. To help him forget about next years' potential event, Janowski said he will likely employ Southern Comfort, Jim Beam, or some combination thereof.

 


Hot-Dog Craving Ends After First Bite

 


Camp Ranger's DEATH STAR Almost Complete.

The Ranger union's long-running jihad against the annual Camp Chaos event entered an ugly new phase as the evil coalition of Park Rangers & Storm Troopers united to ruin the fun for all on the annual camping trip. It is estimated to be completed just in time to prevent the completion of another stupid Camp Chaos film.

 


 

Cheese Spill Cleaned Up With Nacho

 

 


 

MPAA slaps NC-17 rating on proposed Camp Chaos sequel

 

 


 




Mark Kaplan's secret identity as Undercover Ranger revealed
Bothe-Napa Valley State Park, CA. After a multi-year investigation in order to secure a racketeering charge against Jeff Myers, Mark Kaplan was revealed to be a secret informant working for the California State Park system. Under questioning, Mr. Kaplan quickly gave up his confidential identity after consuming almost one full beer.



Tom Burke expresses desire to direct next Camp Chaos film