Renovations Force Calaverous State Park to Temporarily Relocate to Sacramento Office Space



Annual 3-Sentence Conversation With Cousin Goes Smoothly



Maddie Kaplan is a Serious Actress and You Will Address Her as Such




Middle-Aged Banana Panics Upon Finding First Brown Spot




Endangered Wildlife to be Given New Identities in Species Protection Program

CA - In order to safeguard the lives of innocent creatures and preserve the biodiversity of our nation’s ecosystems, our Species Protection Program creates entirely new identities for animals and relocates them to places where no predator or poacher will ever find them. Service director Vincent Hill, confirmed that the former California condor now goes under a pseudonym and, in fact, no longer lives in California. The program has already come under intense scrutiny following an
incident in which a herd of woodland caribou was reportedly reassigned to live in a dolphin community in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.




Elderly Hall of Fame Pitcher Chosen to Throw Out First Pitch of Trac-ball Season




Shocking Report Says Even the Smallest Grizzly Bear Bite Can Be Harmful to Newborn Babies

Contrary to popular belief, a new study says parents may want to prevent their newborns from being bitten by bears




Giant Burrito to Solve All of Area Man's Problems For 6 Precious Minutes








Breaking News: Plight Of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie

Media speculation is rampant over what exciting action sequences and romantic subplots the hikers may be experiencing if they are still alive.




Denise Kaplan Finally Confesses to Zodiac Killings